“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times…”
One of literature’s greatest opening lines, and ironically, an apt description of my writing journey over the past year. It has been a fabulous year in which I have had amazing opportunities to learn writing from some truly gifted teachers, and I have been blessed to forge lifelong friendships with an amazing group of women writers.
On the other hand, I have struggled for every word and sentence I have written. While my fellow writers were posting hundreds and thousands in word count, I was seeing numbers like 51 and 79. I would sit in my chair and watch that wretched cursor mock me with its blinking until I gave in to check my facebook. It should have been so easy; I had an entire story line mapped out in front of me. All I had to do was write it. And yet I just couldn’t seem to move it forward.
And as I sat, with nothing to show for the time at my computer, I began to wonder if I had gotten it wrong. Maybe I wasn’t a writer after all. Well, at least not a writer of novels. I had no problem writing a 400 word response to a facebook status, or a novella in the My Book Therapy forum.
And yet, I was stuck. And I hated it. My deepest desire was to complete a novel, a work that would be powerful and life changing to all who read it. I wanted to prove to that college professor at Eastern Washington University in 1988 that I wasn’t shallow and I could write something worthwhile. I wanted to publish a great work of art that would once and for all erase the stigma of dropping out of college to go to Beauty School. It was the worst of times.
So I did what I always do when I want some semi-guilt-free procrastination: I went to the bookshelf that is laden with what I can only imagine is every book ever written on the subject of writing a novel. My eye was drawn to the bright orange spine with the image of an inviting cup of coffee at the top. The Art & Craft of Writing Christian Fiction by Jeff Gerke.
Imagine my surprise to find the first chapter, or “mastery” as the author calls it, entitled “An (Accepting) Audience of One.” Here is the first sentence of that chapter:
“I want to start this book out by giving you the best counsel of all: be sure you understand Who you’re writing for and why you’re writing for Him.”
Wow. I had to read that one a couple of times to really let it sink in. Who am I writing for? A cranky college professor? My own fragile ego? I know I started writing out of a desire to glorify God, but somewhere along the road, I went my own way. As I read on, I began to understand that I was crippled by my need to impress God and all of the people I perceived to be my judges. And it was quickly becoming an idol. As Jeff Gerke points out, if you are not writing to genuinely glorify God, then you are not writing for the right reasons. Ouch!
So as I repent for seeking to glorify myself in my writing, I will begin each writing session with prayer and a desire to glorify the original Artist and Author of All, and I believe the best of times lay ahead.
“God is your audience. He is your target reader. But He’s not a hostile critic. He holds you on His lap while He delights to hear you read the story you wrote for Him.” ~Jeff Gerke, The Art & Craft of Writing Christian Fiction
~Heidi Larson Geis
